Archived posts from this Category

Drivers Handbook: New Maryland Edition

Posted by on 17 Sep 2012 | Tagged as: Jokes

A sequel to the most popular page on my blog, Driver’s Handbook: Fredericton Edition

How to solve Fredericton’s bad driver problem

Posted by on 15 Nov 2010 | Tagged as: Fredericton, Howto, Jokes

It’s already been well established that Fredericton has a problem with bad drivers. City Hall is unable to find a solution, so I am providing my own. Nothing spreads faster than a scary chain e-mail, so copy & paste this and send it to everyone you know, especially minivan and SUV owners:

Warning from the Fredericton Police Dept:

It has come to our attention that a gang from Halifax is initiating new members in the Fredericton area. Part of their initiation is to shoot at random vehicles that are doing the following:

  • Stopping in merge lanes
  • Stopping in the middle of roundabouts
  • Blocking traffic while waiting to get into Tim Horton’s
  • Blocking intersections during rush hour
  • Not stopping for pedestrians

The Fredericton Police would like to reassure the public that they are safe as long as they don’t do any of the things listed above. We would also like to remind you that the gang that steals kidneys from people who bike on the sidewalks is still active.

Thank you.

Pee…in this place

Posted by on 11 Aug 2009 | Tagged as: Jokes, suggestions

As seen on Twitter:


Reference (in case you didn’t get it)

Really CTV? Kids dancing behind a dead whale?

Posted by on 04 Aug 2009 | Tagged as: Crap, Reviews

On July 6th 2009, CTV Atlantic used this as their “viewer photo of the day” for the weather report:
Yes, that’s exactly what you think it is, a bunch of kids dancing around a dead whale that washed up onto the beach.

Toronto joke of the day

Posted by on 28 Dec 2008 | Tagged as: Fredericton, Jokes

What do they call 30cms of snow in Toronto?


What do they call 30cms of snow in Fredericton?

A Few Flurries


Things you’ll learn once that cute baby turns into a toddler

Posted by on 17 Dec 2008 | Tagged as: Crap, Jokes

You’ve seen all those cute lists on Facebook about how precious babies are.  Unfortunately, they don’t stay small and precious forever.  So here’s a sequel to those lists:

Things you’ll learn once that cute baby turns into a toddler

  • You’ll be creative in improvising when you can’t find a coaster
  • You’ll fondly remember the days before remote controls were invented as you’ll never see yours again
  • You’ll be amazed that your cell phone will work once it has been dried out after a dunking in the toilet
  • You’ll figure out quick and easy ways to reattach wallpaper
  • You won’t mind a slobbery kiss, but you’ll draw the line on using tongue
  • You’ll learn all these neat and nifty keyboard shortcuts as your cordless mouse in is the potato bin
  • You will begin to sniff every puddle of liquid in the house
  • You’ll be amazed at how much poop a pair of regular cotton underwear can hold
  • Your car will smell like barf and sour milk and you’ll never find the source.  Eventually you’ll just roll down the windows and stop caring.
  • You’ll tremble with fear when your hear “uh-oh”
  • Your PVR will be full of kids shows
  • You’ll have to find another “quiet place” as you’ll no longer be able to use the bathroom as your sanctuary.
  • You’ll eventually hit “critical mess” where no matter how many more toys get strewn about, it won’t look any messier
  • You’ll learn which kinds of cake sprinkles don’t get digested

Adventures in sensationalism

Posted by on 26 Nov 2008 | Tagged as: Crap

Here we have a story about a retired politician hitting a bear with his motorbike.  Let’s see how 2 Toronto newspapers handle the story:

The Globe & Mail:

Now, let’s see how the Toronto Star does:

So there you have it, according to the Toronto Star, standing in the middle of the road is considered attacking. Next time I’m driving in downtown Fredericton, I’ll have to keep my eye out for squirrel attacks.

Ironic crap that came on the fax machine this morning

Posted by on 25 Sep 2008 | Tagged as: Crap, fail

We get a fair amount of fax spam at work.  They range from travel scams to orange safety vests and steel buildings.  I found this one to be particularly funny: (the red text is mine)

Driver’s Handbook: Fredericton Edition

Posted by on 20 May 2008 | Tagged as: Fredericton, Jokes


Why I’m blogging

Posted by on 17 Oct 2007 | Tagged as: Crap

Well, the simple answer is that it’s a hobby. I feel the need to be creative, I get to be plenty creative at work, but it just isn’t the same.

I have tons of thoughts in my head, I just want to write them down somewhere. I still really don’t have much of an idea of what I’m going to write about, but I’ll try to leave out the boring tripe. I also won’t reveal too many of my innermost thoughts; on the other hand, I also won’t just put filler in order to keep it active.

People say that blogging is the future. I’m not so sure about that, I think it will remain a subculture for quite a while as no blogger has the advertising dollars that big media has. People need to have other people to tell them what’s important or interesting. When we watch the TV news or read the newspaper, someone decides what goes in there. On the other hand, blogging (and the Internet in general) allows you to have the freedom to not have to be told what to watch. Nobody wants this freedom because 99% of everything on the Internet is crap. We as humans need other humans to tell us what’s cool. This is where sites like SlashDot, Fark and digg come into play, they tell us what is worth reading.

So this just leaves me as being part of the 99% that’s crap. I’m not being melodramatic or anything, but math is math and 1/100 == not good odds.

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