You’ve seen all those cute lists on Facebook about how precious babies are.  Unfortunately, they don’t stay small and precious forever.  So here’s a sequel to those lists:

Things you’ll learn once that cute baby turns into a toddler

  • You’ll be creative in improvising when you can’t find a coaster
  • You’ll fondly remember the days before remote controls were invented as you’ll never see yours again
  • You’ll be amazed that your cell phone will work once it has been dried out after a dunking in the toilet
  • You’ll figure out quick and easy ways to reattach wallpaper
  • You won’t mind a slobbery kiss, but you’ll draw the line on using tongue
  • You’ll learn all these neat and nifty keyboard shortcuts as your cordless mouse in is the potato bin
  • You will begin to sniff every puddle of liquid in the house
  • You’ll be amazed at how much poop a pair of regular cotton underwear can hold
  • Your car will smell like barf and sour milk and you’ll never find the source.  Eventually you’ll just roll down the windows and stop caring.
  • You’ll tremble with fear when your hear “uh-oh”
  • Your PVR will be full of kids shows
  • You’ll have to find another “quiet place” as you’ll no longer be able to use the bathroom as your sanctuary.
  • You’ll eventually hit “critical mess” where no matter how many more toys get strewn about, it won’t look any messier
  • You’ll learn which kinds of cake sprinkles don’t get digested