So you have this building that’s fairly cruddy and you want to fix it up a bit, but don’t have a lot of money?  It can be easier than you think.  First, you’ll have to replace some bricks, but since money’s an object, just replace the first floor’s bricks:

Next, you’ll want to make sure that everybody knows your building is historic.  So make sure you put a date on the sign:

Don’t forget to replace the bricks down the side, too.  And if you happen to need to replace some bricks on the upper floors, make sure they don’t match anything already there.  Also, you’ll have to let everyone know that your office space is PRIME, so make sure you get a nice big sign near the front:

Now, you’ll want to have some nice big windows overlooking the beginning of the alley.  Just go ahead and hack some of them in making sure they don’t match any of the other windows on the building:

Now that you’ve got this great building, you’ll have to protect the parking lot to keep the poachers out of it.  So you’ll need a nice big sign on the back:

Of course, you’ll need to make sure that people get the message.  Yosemite Sam is an excellent choice to keep those poachers out:

If they still don’t get the message, make sure you add a Clint Eastwood quote.  Just not a western movie quote, but a Dirty Harry quote:

So how does one get away with this?  Having the same last name as a former mayor helps.

They’re building a convention centre next door so hopefully there will be an “accident” and this “prime” building will get knocked over by a crane.

Update Aug 29th 2008: It’s been torn down!