Crap

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Drivers Handbook: New Maryland Edition

Posted by on 17 Sep 2012 | Tagged as: Jokes

A sequel to the most popular page on my blog, Driver’s Handbook: Fredericton Edition

Lady Gaga in Moncton? Probably not.

Posted by on 14 Nov 2011 | Tagged as: Crap

This video has shown up this evening. It claims to be Lada Gaga arriving in Moncton.

The first thing that you notice is that the airport is completely empty. This would indicate that she would not have come on a commercial flight. A quick search of Twitter showed no tweets of people seeing her in any other airport today, which means that she would have come in on a private aircraft.

How do we know if any private jets arrived? We can look up incoming flights of FlightAware.com:

There were no private jets at the Moncton airport today.

Another clue is that it would seem odd to have the camera rolling ahead of discovering that it was a celebrity sighting. Also note the prominent placement of the video author’s name.

Here’s video #2, which doesn’t really have too much in it:

Why would someone drive with the windows down on a cool Moncton autumn day?
If she was checking out the site, why would she walk down the dirt road? Wouldn’t concert site organizers be escorting her all around?

Also: The Times Transcript interviewed the manager of the airport who said that celebrities don’t use the main airport terminal.

Update: One of the video’s authors posted this as a confession that it is a hoax. It was created by two employees from La Mine D’Or, a local jewelry store to promote a Children’s Wish event.

Facebook and Twitter icons keep getting bigger

Posted by on 03 Feb 2011 | Tagged as: Jokes, tech

Is it just me, or are those “follow me on Facebook and Twitter” icons taking up more and more screen real estate these days? Just so I don’t feel out of the loop, I made some as large as this WordPress theme would allow:

Next week, I’ll hone my JavaScript and CSS skills to create a “Share me” button that will autoexpand and won’t go away no matter what you do.

How to solve Fredericton’s bad driver problem

Posted by on 15 Nov 2010 | Tagged as: Fredericton, Howto, Jokes

It’s already been well established that Fredericton has a problem with bad drivers. City Hall is unable to find a solution, so I am providing my own. Nothing spreads faster than a scary chain e-mail, so copy & paste this and send it to everyone you know, especially minivan and SUV owners:

Warning from the Fredericton Police Dept:

It has come to our attention that a gang from Halifax is initiating new members in the Fredericton area. Part of their initiation is to shoot at random vehicles that are doing the following:

  • Stopping in merge lanes
  • Stopping in the middle of roundabouts
  • Blocking traffic while waiting to get into Tim Horton’s
  • Blocking intersections during rush hour
  • Not stopping for pedestrians

The Fredericton Police would like to reassure the public that they are safe as long as they don’t do any of the things listed above. We would also like to remind you that the gang that steals kidneys from people who bike on the sidewalks is still active.

Thank you.

Pee…in this place

Posted by on 11 Aug 2009 | Tagged as: Jokes, suggestions

As seen on Twitter:

peeinthisplace

Reference (in case you didn’t get it)

Really CTV? Kids dancing behind a dead whale?

Posted by on 04 Aug 2009 | Tagged as: Crap, Reviews

On July 6th 2009, CTV Atlantic used this as their “viewer photo of the day” for the weather report:
deadwhale-2009-07-06-r
Yes, that’s exactly what you think it is, a bunch of kids dancing around a dead whale that washed up onto the beach.

Toronto joke of the day

Posted by on 28 Dec 2008 | Tagged as: Fredericton, Jokes

What do they call 30cms of snow in Toronto?

Snowmageddon.

What do they call 30cms of snow in Fredericton?

A Few Flurries

Wimps.

Things you’ll learn once that cute baby turns into a toddler

Posted by on 17 Dec 2008 | Tagged as: Crap, Jokes

You’ve seen all those cute lists on Facebook about how precious babies are.  Unfortunately, they don’t stay small and precious forever.  So here’s a sequel to those lists:

Things you’ll learn once that cute baby turns into a toddler

  • You’ll be creative in improvising when you can’t find a coaster
  • You’ll fondly remember the days before remote controls were invented as you’ll never see yours again
  • You’ll be amazed that your cell phone will work once it has been dried out after a dunking in the toilet
  • You’ll figure out quick and easy ways to reattach wallpaper
  • You won’t mind a slobbery kiss, but you’ll draw the line on using tongue
  • You’ll learn all these neat and nifty keyboard shortcuts as your cordless mouse in is the potato bin
  • You will begin to sniff every puddle of liquid in the house
  • You’ll be amazed at how much poop a pair of regular cotton underwear can hold
  • Your car will smell like barf and sour milk and you’ll never find the source.  Eventually you’ll just roll down the windows and stop caring.
  • You’ll tremble with fear when your hear “uh-oh”
  • Your PVR will be full of kids shows
  • You’ll have to find another “quiet place” as you’ll no longer be able to use the bathroom as your sanctuary.
  • You’ll eventually hit “critical mess” where no matter how many more toys get strewn about, it won’t look any messier
  • You’ll learn which kinds of cake sprinkles don’t get digested

Adventures in sensationalism

Posted by on 26 Nov 2008 | Tagged as: Crap

Here we have a story about a retired politician hitting a bear with his motorbike.  Let’s see how 2 Toronto newspapers handle the story:

The Globe & Mail:

Now, let’s see how the Toronto Star does:


So there you have it, according to the Toronto Star, standing in the middle of the road is considered attacking. Next time I’m driving in downtown Fredericton, I’ll have to keep my eye out for squirrel attacks.

Ironic crap that came on the fax machine this morning

Posted by on 25 Sep 2008 | Tagged as: Crap, fail

We get a fair amount of fax spam at work.  They range from travel scams to orange safety vests and steel buildings.  I found this one to be particularly funny: (the red text is mine)

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