It’s already been well established that Fredericton has a problem with bad drivers. City Hall is unable to find a solution, so I am providing my own. Nothing spreads faster than a scary chain e-mail, so copy & paste this and send it to everyone you know, especially minivan and SUV owners:

Warning from the Fredericton Police Dept:

It has come to our attention that a gang from Halifax is initiating new members in the Fredericton area. Part of their initiation is to shoot at random vehicles that are doing the following:

  • Stopping in merge lanes
  • Stopping in the middle of roundabouts
  • Blocking traffic while waiting to get into Tim Horton’s
  • Blocking intersections during rush hour
  • Not stopping for pedestrians

The Fredericton Police would like to reassure the public that they are safe as long as they don’t do any of the things listed above. We would also like to remind you that the gang that steals kidneys from people who bike on the sidewalks is still active.

Thank you.